Asian & Pacific Islander Older Adults Task Force
MENTORS Project
Cultural Do's and Don'ts: Pakistani Elderly
• Treating Pakistani elders with respect is vital. “Talking time”, regardless of the service
outcome, is crucial when working with an elder. In order to establish rapport and promote
comfort with the situation, spend ”talking time,” practice patience, and refrain from rushing
Pakistani elders. It is appropriate to ask direct questions as long as they are not too intrusive
(e.g., money issues) and are asked with sensitivity. Take the time to build trust before
discussing private or personal matters, and be aware that it may take a few visits before the
elder feels comfortable enough to “open up” to you.
• Inquire respectfully whether you should remove your shoes at the doorway when visiting a
Pakistani home.
• Greetings are helpful in establishing rapport. When meeting a Pakistani family, greet the
eldest male first, unless the eldest is female. Pakistani elders appreciate greetings such as
“Aap kasey heay” (How are you?), or “As-salaam alaikum” (Peace be upon you).
• A respectful way of addressing a Pakistani elder is by their last name (e.g. Mr. or Mrs.
Khan). Never address an elder by their first name.
• Shaking hands is an appropriate gesture of respect when initially meeting a Pakistani male
elder. However, any physical contact with a Pakistani female is considered inappropriate.
Slightly bowing your head is the most appropriate gesture when meeting a Pakistani woman.
• Direct eye contact is generally important in Pakistani culture. Avoiding eye contact can be
interpreted as disrespectful because it suggests you are not “paying attention”. In the rare
case where an elder Pakistani woman may turn her gaze away, avoid direct contact,
• Use a clear, soft, low tone when communicating with an elder.
• Appropriate dress is especially important when meeting with an elder. In Pakistani culture,
women are expected to dress modestly and conservatively. The manner in which you are
dressed will strongly influence your credibility.
• Keep your hands at your sides or behind the back when speaking with a Pakistani elder.
Pointing one’s fingers at an elder is considered extremely impolite.
• Pakistani elders (especially males) may speak English, but using a translator is preferable so
that they can communicate in their first language. It would be particularly helpful if a same-
sex translator were available, especially for a medical appointment. Also, it would encourage
the elder to better express his/her needs if the translator spends a few minutes prior to the
appointment encouraging and approving openness with medical personnel.
