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Meeting Each Other's Marital Needs: A Guide for Husbands and Wives, Schemes and Mind Maps of Literature

Insights into the five basic marital needs that husbands and wives have to meet in order to build a fulfilling and irresistible relationship. It offers practical tips for both men and women to understand and cater to each other's emotional, sexual, conversational, financial, and familial needs.

What you will learn

  • What are some ways wives can meet their husbands' need for financial support and commitment?
  • What are the five basic marital needs for a fulfilling and irresistible relationship?
  • How can husbands meet their wives' need for affection and intimacy?

Typology: Schemes and Mind Maps

2021/2022

Uploaded on 09/12/2022

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His Needs, Her Needs:
A Summary for Reflection Together
The Irresistible Man
Any husband can make himself irresistible to his wife by
learning to meet five basic marital needs:
1. He meets her need for affection with plenty of hugs and
kisses at every opportunity. He also tells her how much
he cares for her with a steady flow of words, cards,
flowers, gifts and common courtesies.
2. He meets her need for intimate conversation by talking
with her at the feeling level. He listens to her attitudes
about the events of her day with sensitivity, interest and
concern. All his conversations with her convey a desire to
understand her but not to change her.
3. He meets her need for honesty and openness by looking
her in the eye and telling her what he really thinks. He
explains his plans and actions clearly and completely
because he regards himself as accountable to her. He
wants her to trust him and feel secure.
4. He meets her need for financial support by firmly
shouldering the responsibility to house, feed and clothe
his family. If his income is insufficient to support his wife
adequately (certain callings as ministry, or social service),
he does not feel sorry for himself; instead, he looks for
concrete ways to increase his earnings by upgrading his
skills or he sits down with his wife to determine how to
make better use of what income they have, how to lower
their standard of living if necessary in order to raise their
marriage to a safer and more fulfilling level.
5. He meets her need for family commitment by putting his
family first. He commits his time and energy to the moral
and intellectual development of the children. For
example, he reads to them, he engages in sports with
them and takes them camping or on other outings. He
does not play the fool's game of working long hours,
trying to get ahead, while his children and spouse
languish in neglect; and he seeks to help with the home.
The Irresistible Woman
A wife makes herself irresistible to her husband by learning to
meet his five basic marital needs:
1. She meets his need for sexual fulfillment by becoming an
excellent sexual partner to him. She studies her own
response to recognize and understand what brings out the
best in her; then she communicates this information to her
husband and together they learn to have a sexual
relationship that both find repeatedly satisfying and
enjoyable.
2. She meets his need for recreational companionship by
developing mutual interests with her husband. She
discovers those activities her husband enjoys the most
and tries to become proficient in them. If she learns to
enjoy them, she joins him in them. If she does not enjoy
them, she encourages him to consider others that they can
enjoy together. She becomes her husband's constant
recreational companion so that he repeatedly associates
her with the pastimes her enjoys most.
3. She meets his need for her attractiveness. She keeps
herself physically attractive and she wears her hair,
makeup and clothes in a way that her husband finds
attractive and tasteful. Her husband is pleased and proud
of her in public and in private.
4. She meets his need for domestic support by creating a
home that offers him an atmosphere of peace and quiet.
She manages the home and care of the children. This
gives him the opportunity to spend evenings and
weekends with her and their children in educational and
recreational activity.
5. She meets his need for admiration and respect by
understanding his value and achievements more than
anyone else. She reminds him of his capabilities and
helps him maintain his self-confidence. She is proud of
her husband, not out of duty, but as an expression of
sincere admiration for the man with whom she has chosen
to share her life.
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His Needs, Her Needs:

A Summary for Reflection Together

The Irresistible Man

Any husband can make himself irresistible to his wife by learning to meet five basic marital needs:

  1. He meets her need for affection with plenty of hugs and kisses at every opportunity. He also tells her how much he cares for her with a steady flow of words, cards, flowers, gifts and common courtesies.
  2. He meets her need for intimate conversation by talking with her at the feeling level. He listens to her attitudes about the events of her day with sensitivity, interest and concern. All his conversations with her convey a desire to understand her but not to change her.
  3. He meets her need for honesty and openness by looking her in the eye and telling her what he really thinks. He explains his plans and actions clearly and completely because he regards himself as accountable to her. He wants her to trust him and feel secure.
  4. He meets her need for financial support by firmly shouldering the responsibility to house, feed and clothe his family. If his income is insufficient to support his wife adequately (certain callings as ministry, or social service), he does not feel sorry for himself; instead, he looks for concrete ways to increase his earnings by upgrading his skills or he sits down with his wife to determine how to make better use of what income they have, how to lower their standard of living if necessary in order to raise their marriage to a safer and more fulfilling level.
  5. He meets her need for family commitment by putting his family first. He commits his time and energy to the moral and intellectual development of the children. For example, he reads to them, he engages in sports with them and takes them camping or on other outings. He does not play the fool's game of working long hours, trying to get ahead, while his children and spouse languish in neglect; and he seeks to help with the home.

The Irresistible Woman

A wife makes herself irresistible to her husband by learning to meet his five basic marital needs:

  1. She meets his need for sexual fulfillment by becoming an excellent sexual partner to him. She studies her own response to recognize and understand what brings out the best in her; then she communicates this information to her husband and together they learn to have a sexual relationship that both find repeatedly satisfying and enjoyable.
  2. She meets his need for recreational companionship by developing mutual interests with her husband. She discovers those activities her husband enjoys the most and tries to become proficient in them. If she learns to enjoy them, she joins him in them. If she does not enjoy them, she encourages him to consider others that they can enjoy together. She becomes her husband's constant recreational companion so that he repeatedly associates her with the pastimes her enjoys most.
  3. She meets his need for her attractiveness. She keeps herself physically attractive and she wears her hair, makeup and clothes in a way that her husband finds attractive and tasteful. Her husband is pleased and proud of her in public and in private.
  4. She meets his need for domestic support by creating a home that offers him an atmosphere of peace and quiet. She manages the home and care of the children. This gives him the opportunity to spend evenings and weekends with her and their children in educational and recreational activity.
  5. She meets his need for admiration and respect by understanding his value and achievements more than anyone else. She reminds him of his capabilities and helps him maintain his self-confidence. She is proud of her husband, not out of duty, but as an expression of sincere admiration for the man with whom she has chosen to share her life.

Cheat Sheet For Men What a woman likes and dislikes

Turn-Offs Lack of self-esteem Laziness Lack of humor Lack of confidence Lack of goals Lack of understanding Lack of tenderness Negativity Self-centeredness Extreme jealousy Insecurity Smothering Dependence Self-pity Lack of trust No ambition

Turn-Ons Confidence Sense of Humor Intelligence Sensitive Support Self-worth Goals Imagination Independence Desire Courage Compassion Decisiveness Sense of Integrity Dignity Spiritual Leadership

Anytime you deliberately turn off the TV while your favorite team or show is on, or decide to cancel a game of golf, or a hunting trip to spend time with your wife, it shows her that she is more important.

Making eye contact while she is speaking instead of continuing to watch the TV or computer, shows that she has your attention and that you are concerned.

Breaking the male habit of thinking that most of what a woman says is stupid or silly, will go a long way to ensuring in your wife's heart that you love her, and that she is competent.

Pray that you can become more sensitive to the emotional needs of your wife, and that compassion will grow in your heart.

The Wife's Playbook

1. Realize - Your husband is a man. Be glad for it, and do not try to make him less than one. Not all men are the rugged outdoor type, but they still desire a woman to see them as a man. Remember, God made us male and female. We are different. 2. Notice - Men want to please their wives. When the gutters are cleaned, the leak is fixed, the door knob is put back on, or the school project is finished, give him praise. Tell him how handy he is. This will build him up and make him eager to accomplish more.

3.Stop - Do not go over his head by calling your dad, brother, or anyone else to fix or build something without his approval. This type of action will crush his spirit. If it is not getting done as fast as you like, simply ask him if he thinks you should seek some help. Also, DO NOT volunteer him for things without his approval.

4.Quiet - When he has messed up or broken something, he already knows it. Do not compound it by telling him that he blew it or that he just cost the family more money.

5. Don't - Nagging will only get you both mad. Oh he may get up and do that project that you have complained about for 2 months, but he will not do it in the right spirit; and it will only serve to create space between you emotionally. 6. Understand - Men are very fragile. They like to be seen as tough and with all the answers; but they really operate under a lot of pressure. They have an idea in their head of what a man is to be, and often times they do not fulfill it. This causes a lot of anxiety. Faithfully praying that you and your husband will become what God has intended, will go a long way in making a happy home.