Implementing Feedback + Revision Strategies, Lecture notes of Reasoning

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For a project you’re currently revising, what

kind of feedback have you received so far?

(Zoom folks: Answer in the chat!)

A. Instructor Comments

B. Peer Feedback

C. Writing Center

D. None so far!

Implementing Feedback &

Revision Strategies

A Writing Guide Presentation

Kirkwood Adams

Maria Baker

CK Kirch

Interpreting Feedback

COMMENT

● “Needs restructuring”

● “Great observation”

● “Consider rewording”

● “Nice summary but

needs analysis”

● “Vague”

➔ I guess I’ll change the structure? Although I

have no idea what the new one will be…

➔ Awesome, I won’t change anything about this.

➔ I’ll grab my thesaurus… Not sure what words

will be better, though.

➔ Dang, I thought I was doing analysis! What do

I do now??

➔ Well, so is this comment!

➔ REVISION??

The problem with feedback:

Evaluative: Reader says whether or not they liked it ● “Good/Bad” ● “I liked it/I didn’t like it”

Prescriptive: Reader suggests changes for the writer to make ● “Restructure your essay” ● “Expand on this”

Descriptive: Reader describes their experience of the piece ● “I was confused here” ● “This surprised me”

➔ Doesn’t help us figure out what to revise (because we don’t know their criteria, nor do we know how they understand our project!)

➔ Doesn’t take into account our intended project (so the suggestions might not actually make sense for what we’re trying to do!)

➔ Useful! We can compare their experience with our intentions to determine how to revise (but the problem is we don’t always get this kind of feedback!)

Soliciting descriptive feedback: ask about the reader’s

experience – questions whose answers will help you

make revision decisions, e.g.:

● Is my argument clear? → “Can you summarize my argument?” ● Is there information missing? → “Were there any places you got confused while reading?” ● Do I need to restructure? → “What did you see as the logical connection between these ideas?”

But sometimes we can’t control what kind of

feedback we receive!

● Instructor comments ● Some peer review assignments

How do I turn evaluative/prescriptive

feedback into descriptive feedback?

The problem

with feedback:

We can’t always control

what kind of feedback

we receive

COMMENT

● “Needs restructuring”

● “Great observation”

● “Consider rewording”

● “Nice summary but

needs analysis”

● “Vague”

➔ The reader probably didn’t understand the

logical connection between my ideas.

➔ I pointed out something the reader might not

have realized before.

➔ How the reader understood this sentence

may not have matched their expectations for

what I was going to say here.

➔ My close-reading came across to this reader

as summary rather than analysis.

➔ The reader may not be certain how to apply

this idea to the specific context here.

➔ POSSIBLE READER EXPERIENCE

➔ REVISION

➔ How can I make connections clearer? (Change order? Add missing pieces? Both?) ➔ Am I using this surprising moment in the most advantageous way? ➔ What did they think I was trying to say? Why did they think that? (Issue with wording or with setting expectations?) ➔ How can I bring out my analysis more so it’s clear I’m saying something new? ➔ How can I ensure my explanations draw clear connections between general ideas and this specific context?

● The reader probably didn’t understand the logical connection between my ideas. ● I pointed out something the reader might not have realized before. ● How the reader understood this sentence may not have matched their expectations for what I was going to say here. ● My close-reading came across to this reader as summary rather than analysis. ● The reader may not be certain how to apply this idea to the specific context here.

POSSIBLE READER EXPERIENCE

PRIORITIZING YOUR REVISIONS:

HOCs and LOCs

HOC: Higher Order Concerns

Global issues - issues that impede a

reader’s understanding of a text.

Structure; argument

Stage of intervention: Early and middle

stages of drafting.

Ask: Can you say back my main ideas?

LOC: Lower Order Concerns

Local errors - errors that do not impede

a reader’s understanding of a text.

Sentence Level Concerns

Stage of intervention: Late stage of

drafting/revising.

Ask: Are there moments in my text you

notice/ minor errors you can easily ignore

while reading?

REVERSE OUTLINING

We all (hopefully) know what outlining is.

Reverse outlining is a revision strategy that takes stock

of the draft AFTER you’ve have created it—which may or

may not have turned out like the original outline you

made.

There are many ways to reverse outline. In the second half of this

workshop, we’ll focus on two methods: one small and one big.

METHODOLOGY

PARAGRAPH

Without looking at

your draft, write

down how you

guided a reader

through your

argument/toward

your claim. What

were the steps?

Writing a methodology paragraph is a strategy borrowed from papers that describe scientific experiments.

Possible model language:

In order to answer my research question/ arrive at my claim that ______ I will begin by ____. Then I will proceed by introducing ____, after which I move on to _____ and _____ (etc.)

EXAMPLE, METHODOLOGY PARAGRAPH:

In order to explain how montages of training sequences in ROCKY films illustrate and contribute to expectations of unrealistic self-reliance in American society, I’ll begin describing the Rocky/boxing films and their protagonist. Then I will focus on the presence of training montages and show their main elements and their placement in the story structure of each film. I will underline how the montages work cinematically, and how their manipulation of time distorts the meaning of effort. Then I will show that this compression of time omits other people’s contributions to the hero’s journey altogether and positions Rocky as a lone hero who works without institutional support. I will strengthen this last point by focusing on Rocky’s opponent’s training-footage that audiences see, and how it focuses on government sponsored state-of-the art facilities that are shown as clinical and less desirable than Rocky’s home-spun equipment. From there I will focus on the triumph in the final battle, which aesthetically contradicts the montage by elongating time and therefore heightens the individual’s/Rocky’s moment of glory and positions him as the quintessential, self-made American hero.

SAYS / DOES

Says/Does offers a writer the opportunity to give

to themselves the kind of descriptive feedback

we hope to get from our readers.

It is also & a great method for finding HOCs…

& for resisting the lure of dealing with LOCs first.

The big

one

SAYS/DOES

Says/Does is a simple,

task-oriented exercise

which asks you to

reflect on the work

your current draft

performs

This strategy can be employed by annotating

directly on a printed copy of your draft.

In the left-hand margin, write concisely the main

ideas delivered by each paragraph.

In the right-hand margin, track what the

paragraph is doing. In order words: how would a

teacher of writing describe the moves each

paragraphs makes?

...Of course, a writer may prefer to write digitally, creating headings or digital comments for each each paragraph with the sub-points “says” then “does”...