











































































Study with the several resources on Docsity
Earn points by helping other students or get them with a premium plan
Prepare for your exams
Study with the several resources on Docsity
Earn points to download
Earn points by helping other students or get them with a premium plan
Community
Ask the community for help and clear up your study doubts
Discover the best universities in your country according to Docsity users
Free resources
Download our free guides on studying techniques, anxiety management strategies, and thesis advice from Docsity tutors
This response is to Question 7, which asks candidates to write a speech giving their views on whether schools and colleges have a duty to ensure their students ...
Typology: Study notes
1 / 83
This page cannot be seen from the preview
Don't miss anything!
Question 7 Answer 1B
This response is to Question 7, which asks candidates to write a speech giving their views on whether schools and colleges have a duty to ensure their students keep fit.
The opening to the piece is broadly appropriate as it clearly identifies what the question is, 'I have been asked to give a speech on my views'. While this is quite clear, it does create a tone of being required to give a speech, which is not necessarily the most engaging.
The viewpoint is clearly stated: 'I think that yes schools do have a duty to keep their students fit'. This view is developed with the idea of junior schools having outdoor playtime and at least one sports lesson a week. The candidate has some linkage between healthy body and healthy mind, and how learning is supported, but this is implicit rather than clear enough in the writing. The example of being able to solve a quadratic formula but having serious heart problems has the right intent (being unable to use it) but it does not fully achieve impact. It is clear that getting into good habits in younger life through doing sport is, in the candidate's view, helpful for the future, and that when you are older you can choose the type and amount of exercise. However, this point starts to contradict the earlier points, as the view is that exercise when you are older should be 'more of a fun passing the time during exams and revision...Rather than being forced at 18 years old to still run the 1500m'. The conclusion does however help to clarify the overall stance. The response includes the listeners using pronouns such as 'us', 'our' and 'we'. There is some organisation of the response with an introduction and conclusion although the points in the main body of the response could be more clearly organised. This would help avoid the repetition of points such as 'Once again, back to starting to make our own decisions in our late teens' and the need to end with 'So to summarise'.
The language used is appropriate overall and does reflect attention to the listeners' understanding. In some places it is very general and the points made become a little lost and almost superficial, for example in statements like 'I think that this has different factors which would effect [sic] how I would answer to it' and 'Another reason as to why I feel that this is the schools [sic] duty is that'. The use of the school's saying 'a healthy body, healthy mind' is helpful but not fully developed. There is some use of questions to involve the reader, although the lack of question marks loses the impact somewhat. The colloquial comment 'Obviously this is a worse [sic]-case scenario, but you can see where I'm going with this' involves the listeners but invites them to disagree rather than leaving them with the impact of the scenario.
register are mostly clear. A mark of 14 in Level 3 is appropriate for AO4.
For AO5 the candidate expresses and orders information and ideas and there is a cohesive structure overall. Vocabulary is varied, for example 'pixelated [sic]', 'illuminating', 'exquisite', 'exfoliates', 'accusations', and spelling is accurate. Sentence structure is adapted as appropriate. There is a range of punctuation used with some accuracy, although apostrophes are not used fully. A mark of 10 in Level 3 is appropriate.
AO4 Level 3 - 14
AO5 Level 3 - 10 = 24