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Love Does - Discussion Questions, Study Guides, Projects, Research of Logic

University of Central Oklahoma (UCO)Logic

3. Bob says, “Being 'engaged' isn't just an event that happens when a guy gets on one knee . . . Being engaged is a way of doing life, a way of living and ...

Typology: Study Guides, Projects, Research

2021/2022

Uploaded on 09/27/2022

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Love Does
Discussion Questions
introDuction: Love Does
1. Where is your Tom Sawyer Island? Name four things you’ve
been dreaming about or putting off doing for some reason or
other, and hold them in mind as you read the next chapters.
chapter 1: i’m with You
1. Is there a time when someone has been “with you,” as Randy
was for Bob? What difference did it make in your life?
2. What’s the difference between treating someone as a project and
treating them as a friend? In your experience, how might the
line get blurred?
3. Are there times when you have loved with presence and sacri-
fice? What was the outcome?
4. Bob describes “a love that operates more like a sign language than
being spoken outright.” What kind of sign language might you be
most fluent in? How do you show love in your life right now?
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L ov e Doe s

Dis cus sion Que s t ions

introDuction: Love Does

  1. Where is your Tom Sawyer Island? Name four things you’ve been dreaming about or putting off doing for some reason or other, and hold them in mind as you read the next chapters.

chapter 1: i’m with You

  1. Is there a time when someone has been “with you,” as Randy was for Bob? What difference did it make in your life?
  2. What’s the difference between treating someone as a project and treating them as a friend? In your experience, how might the line get blurred?
  3. Are there times when you have loved with presence and sacri- fice? What was the outcome?
  4. Bob describes “a love that operates more like a sign language than being spoken outright.” What kind of sign language might you be most fluent in? How do you show love in your life right now?
  1. Think about Jesus’ role as “Immanuel—God with us.” How has he been “with you” so far, either in your life or in the life of someone you know?

chapter 2: sniper Fire

  1. How is God inviting you into “a life that’s moving away from typical”? Have there been any clues so far?
  2. Everyone has a sneaking suspicion that they’re a little bit weird— a little bit atypical. How do you react to those suspicions in yourself? What are the quirks God gave you?
  3. What are the pros and cons of being typical? How do you know if something’s coming from a genuine place, or one of conformity?
  4. What’s an example of someone you’ve witnessed being 100 per- cent themselves? What about being themselves and following God at the same time? How did that affect those around them?
  5. Bob says, “There’s nothing wrong with being typical, I guess, but there is nothing fundamentally right about it either.” Discuss the notion of conformity having become “right” in Christianity. How do you think Christians got that reputation? Do you believe that is changing?

chapter 3: rYan in Love

  1. How does Ryan exemplify the concept of “audacious love”? How did Bob audaciously love him back?
  2. What do you think it was about Ryan that made Bob agree to do all those extreme things to help him? What was it about Bob that made him willing to cross the line?
  1. What “Dear Bob”–type letters have left creases in you? Could they be forming something new?

chapter 6: “Go BuY Your Books!”

  1. How have you experienced the power of the right words being said to you?
  2. Bob says, “Ordinary people like you and me can launch each other.” Have you ever launched someone else, or witnessed it?
  3. How can you know when it is right to kick down a door that has been shut? Do you have any experience with this?
  4. Bob wonders “if we can launch people better than a dean [or someone with a lot of power] because we’re ordinary.” Why would this be?
  5. What are some things that stop us from launching people?

chapter 7: sweet maria

  1. Have you ever felt love that was like “an energy that has to be dissipated”? If so, what did it lead you to do?
  2. What costs have you or those close to you paid for love? What was the pay-off?
  3. Have you experienced God convincing you to love Him back? How does He do this?
  4. What makes you stop and stare in amazement? How might that be God pursuing you?

chapter 8: weDDinG cake

  1. What kind of grit tends to keep us from allowing ourselves to be “served up” to others?
  1. For a lot of people, serving a wedding cake with rocks in it (or allowing ourselves to be used when we’re broken) is something we just can’t get behind. But what are some ways God could use your specific brokenness?
  2. How is Jesus’ logic different from our logic, or from the logic of the world?
  3. Discuss the difference between “believing the right stuff” and “doing the right stuff.” What does that mean to you?
  4. Bob says, “The only thing Jesus said He couldn’t serve up were people who were full of themselves or believed the lie that they were who they used to be before they met Him.” What keeps them from being served?

chapter 9: Just saY Yes

  1. Has God ever asked you or someone you know to do something completely inexplicable? How’d it go?
  2. If we have the choice “to say yes, ignore it, or tell God why He has the wrong person,” what can we make of the story of Moses’ protestations when he was first called?
  3. Can you think of a time you’ve said yes, no, or ignored a call from God? How do those times give you insight into God’s plan and character?
  4. When has saying yes to a hunch paid off for you? When has it not? What can be learned from these situations?
  5. What are some examples, past or present, of God using the least likely people to achieve something great?

chapter 12: wow, what a hit!

  1. Recall some words of encouragement that really stuck with you. How did they change you?
  2. Do you really believe you are the apple of God’s eye? What evi- dence is there for this?
  3. Bob describes his coach “telling me I was a real ball player—he saw it in me and was just calling it out.” List some opportunities you can make to do this for people in your life.
  4. What’s the relationship between God’s encouragement and our humility? How does one inform the other?
  5. Recall a time someone encouraged you despite (or even because of) your shortcomings—calling out something that may not have been there yet. Did their predictions come to pass?

chapter 13: BiGGer anD Bet ter

  1. Bob draws a connection between the dime in the Bigger and Better game and our pride and self-preservation. What’s an example of a dime you’re holding on to rather than trading up?
  2. What specifically keeps you holding on to that dime in your life?
  3. What’s the difference between sacrificing something for God and trading up for Him?
  4. Bob says, “When we get our security from Christ, we no longer have to look for it in the world, and that’s a pretty good trade.” How have you experienced this? How would you like to?
  5. What in your life tends to make you think you “matter” in the eyes of the world? What might it be like to give it up to God?

chapter 14: a new kinD oF Diet

  1. What are the major “head-fakes” that you’ve encountered when talking to people who have rejected religion? How have these things tainted religion for them?
  2. If you’re still in contact with those people, what’s a good way to lovingly show them the real thing?
  3. Is something about faith or religion faking you out? Or has it in the past? How did you discover it, and what did you do?
  4. Even the best of Christians are sometimes tempted to present themselves as A+ religious people at the expense of sincerity and authenticity, for various reasons. In what way are you tempted? How might your authenticity in that hard area be a gift to others?
  5. What fake thing angers you the most? “Lite” cream cheese? Fake leather? Fake sympathy? How might you be called to combat it?

chapter 15: a worD not to use

  1. What are some examples of Christian “spin” you’ve encoun- tered? What could be the antidote?
  2. How do you think the church may have gotten to the point where it sometimes “presents God’s plan like a prospectus prom- ising a return on investment”? What’s the real need?
  3. Pinpoint a couple of words in your faith language that are in danger of losing their power. What are some alternatives? (Thesauruses encouraged.)
  4. Discuss the line between making an effort to keep things fresh and authentic and selling ourselves out to appear cool or desir- able. What is our responsibility and what isn’t?
  1. List a few people you could be the shopkeeper for. How can you add value to their pennies this week?

chapter 18: catchinG a riDe

  1. When have you had to bail out of a “creepy-van” situation or relationship? What was the turning point that made you realize it was time to go?
  2. Discuss the relationship between showing grace to people and limiting your involvement with those who get creepy. How might Jesus handle this?
  3. What are some good ways to “ask people where they are going before you get in with them”? In your professional life? In per- sonal relationships?
  4. What do you think of Bob’s statement, “You become like the people you hang around, and to a great degree, you end up going wherever they’re headed”? Has this been true in your experience?

chapter 19: JeepoLoGY

  1. Is there something you keep apologizing to God for, as Lynn kept apologizing to Bob? Why?
  2. Everybody struggles with the fear of becoming dependent on others. Where can you stand to rely on others more?
  3. How might your life be different if you consciously sought to be less independent?
  4. Bob describes wanting to “leak Jesus” after having his life flipped upside down by Him. How does this play out for people you’ve known? For you?

chapter 20: ten-Year-oLD aDventures

  1. What is “the difference between an adventure and a program”? How might some of the programs in your life be turned into adventures?
  2. Bob says, “God asks what it is He’s made us to love, what it is that captures our attention, what feeds that deep indescrib- able need of our souls to experience the richness of the world He made. And then, leaning over us, He whispers, “Let’s go do that together.” Does that evoke anything for you? What has He made you to love?
  3. When have you crashed and burned in a spectacularly awesome way? How is that part of your adventure?
  4. What kinds of fears most keep you from engagement? Fear of getting hurt? Lost? Stranded? Why?
  5. Bob describes faith in Jesus as “an invitation without a lot of details.” How has your faith defied expectations or surprised you so far?

chapter 21: hearinG aiD

  1. Bob lists some of the ways a person might hear from God: “Through flowers, other people, an uncomfortable sense, a feel- ing of joy, goosebumps, a newfound talent, or an appreciation we acquire over time.” When do you feel you are hearing from God? And what happens when your internal tuning fork goes off?
  2. If God’s plan for us is based on our hardwired loves and pas- sions, and His character, what clues has He given you about what direction to go in?

and a group or cabinet of trusted people. Do you have a cabinet? Who is on it, or who would you want on it, and why?

  1. What are ways you can keep Jesus in your sights and determine where He is?
  2. Bob talks about overmeasuring our distance from God as an in- effective means to getting closer to Him. Are you tempted to do this? If so, how can this be turned around?
  3. If the “Book of Life” in heaven is actually a “Book of Lives” or stories, what would you want to be recorded about you when you get there?

chapter 24: Lose the cape

  1. Why be secretly incredible instead of publicly incredible? What impact might this have in our culture?
  2. How does “just doing things”—being secretly awesome without an overworked mission statement—free us up from potential snags?
  3. Have you ever had to come up with a mission statement or state- ment of faith? How similar to or different is it from reality? How similar to or different is it from “Be Awesome”?
  4. Concoct a plan for perpetrating secret awesomeness in some small or large way this week, and record your progress to learn from. (Okay, you can share it with anyone you’re doing this study with if it’ll help.)
  5. Have you ever discovered someone else’s secret goodness? What did it mean to you?

chapter 25: GoD is GooD

  1. Don Valencia treasured his failures. How could this be considered “living on the edge”?
  1. What risks or dangers make you feel most alive, if any? What is to be gained from them?
  2. How might Don’s experiences with risk, pain, and danger have informed his statement that “God is good, all the time,” even in the midst of deadly cancer?
  3. In what ways could you make a “spirit of risk and adventure” more tangible in your own life?
  4. How has fear of death informed some of the things you have and haven’t done or adventures you’ve taken or avoided? How might the idea that “death is just a doorway to something better” change things?

chapter 26: JaiLBreak

  1. Bob observes that love “always assumes it can find a way to ex- press itself.” What does this mean? Have you found it to be true in your experience?
  2. Have you ever seen an answer to an audacious prayer? What’s the most audacious prayer you can pray out of love today?
  3. God “invites us to leave perfectly fine careers like Charlie did, and rather than having us apply for a position, He says our lives are the position.” What would a job description of your current “position” be? Your ideal one?
  4. What doors might God be waiting to rip off their hinges for you? What injustices or setbacks are in your sights? See what prayer does to them.
  5. The Ugandan judge’s day in court started with mass forgive- ness. How is forgiveness the first step in God’s justice?

a safe distance and getting some “skin in the game.” How might that play out in your life?

chapter 29: memorizinG Jesus

  1. What’s the difference between a stalker of Jesus and a friend of Jesus? How does one turn into the other?
  2. Try turning your personal Bible study into a “Bible doing.” Pick five or so key verses you’ve been meaning to memorize and record how doing them sticks in your memory.
  3. Bob talks about thinking of people rather than political issues. What issues could be more personalized for you? How can you meet people who will bring them to life and tenderize your heart?
  4. If you were getting to know Jesus as a child would, what kinds of things (kid stuff or otherwise) would you do together?
  5. What elements of your faith are like memories from a love story? How can you build more?

chapter 30: paLms up

  1. Is your job a day job? Are you fundraising for a passion?
  2. Experiment with Bob’s “palms-up” technique. How was Jesus palms up?
  3. One of the biggest hesitations people have about being totally available and loving is the fear that they will be taken advantage of. How can being palms-up change this?
  4. What do you think of Bob’s statement that with Jesus, we “have nothing to gain or lose”? How could this free up your life, and for what?

chapter 31: t wo Bunk John

  1. Did you ever vow to yourself not to be typical? What did that look like to you?
  2. In your business or area of expertise, what might it be like to have more friends instead of presidents or organizations? What specifically would it change about the way you go about things day by day?
  3. Bob has talked a lot about the virtues of not having a plan. He says about himself and Two Bunk John, “Just because we weren’t going to plan everything didn’t mean we weren’t going to be strategic.” What do you think are the key differences between a plan and a strategy?
  4. When was the last time you took no for an answer? What’s the worst that could have happened if you’d loved past it?
  5. Are you facing a “no” answer in your life now for something you love? Why? How can it be subverted?
  6. We all make plans. What are a few of your plans that you could swap for a big idea?