Participant Guide Secrets of Body Language Worksheet, Exercises of Leadership and Team Management

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Participant Guide

Page 1

Agenda

 What Is Communication?

 Nonverbal Behavior vs. Nonverbal Communication

 What’s Your Communicator Style?

 Facial Expressions & Eye Behavior

 Proxemics (Space)

 Gestures & Movement

 Nonverbal Immediacy

 Environment, Time, and Touch

Workshop Objectives

This workshop is designed to help you in the following ways:

1. Discover why many people fail at nonverbal communication

2. Explain how verbal and nonverbal messages work together

3. Explain why nonverbal messages are often more important than verbal ones

4. Explore the eight categories of nonverbal messages

5. Explore the supervisor-employee relationship from a nonverbal communication

context

6. Determine your personal communicator style

7. Identify specific strategies you can use to improve your nonverbal communication

skills.

Communicator Style Measure

This questionnaire contains statements about your communicative behaviors. Indicate

how often each statement is true for you personally according to the following scale:

If the statement is almost always true , write a 5 in the blank.

If the statement is often true , write a 4 in the blank.

If the statement is occasionally true , write a 3 in the blank.

If the statement is rarely true , write a 2 in the blank.

If the statement is almost never true , write a 1 in the blank.

1 ._________I am comfortable with all varieties of people.

2._________I laugh easily.

3._________I readily express admiration for others.

4._________What I say usually leaves an impression on people.

5._________I leave people with an impression of me that they definitely tend to remember.

6._________To be friendly, I verbally acknowledge others’ contributions.

7._________I am a very good communicator.

8._________I have some nervous mannerisms in my speech.

9._________I am a very relaxed communicator.

10.________When I disagree with others, I am very quick to challenge them.

11.________I can always repeat back to a person exactly what he or she meant.

12.________The sound of my voice is very easy to recognize.

13.________I am a very precise communicator.

14.________I leave a definite impression on people.

15.________The rhythm or flow of my speech is sometimes affected by nervousness.

16.________Under pressure, I come across as a relaxed speaker.

17.________My eyes reflect exactly what I am feeling when I communicate.

18.________I dramatize a lot.

19.________I always find it very easy to communicate on a one-to-one basis with people I do not know

47.________I actively use a lot of facial expressions when I communicate.

48.________I verbally exaggerate to emphasize a point.

49.________I am an extremely attentive communicator.

50.________As a rule, I openly express my feelings and emotions.

Scoring: reverse code items 8, 15, and 21 (if you put a 5 for item 8, change this score to 1; if 4, change this score to 2; if 2, change this score to 4; if 1, change this score to 5).

1. Add your scores for items 3, 6, 38, and 46. This is your friendly score:____
2. Add your scores for items 4, 5, 14, and 45. This is your impression leaving score:____
3. Add you scores for items 8, 9, 15, and 16. This is your relaxed score____
4. Add your scores for items 10, 36, 37, and 42. This is your contentious score:____
5. Add your scores for items 11, 20, 39, and 49. This is your attentive score:____
6. Add your scores for items 13, 27, 30, and 40. This is your precise score:____
7. Add your scores for items 17, 23, 44, and 47. This is your animated score:____
8. Add your scores for items 18, 22, 32, and 48. This is your dramatic score:____
9. Add your scores for items 21, 24, 34, and 50. This is your open score:____
10. Add your scores for items 28, 35, 41, and 43. This is your dominant score:____

Communicator Style Definitions

Communicator Style is defined as the way an individual uses verbal and nonverbal

communicative behaviors to indicate how literal a message should be taken or understood. This style may be comprised of any combination of these ten attributes. Generally, we each use

several of these at the same time. This creates our “communication style cluster.”

The 10 communicator style attributes are as follows:

1. Friendly people recognize others in a positive way and are generally considered to be kind and caring.
2. Impression leaving communicators have a memorable style, which depends on their affiliative expressiveness and use of information-seeking behaviors.
3. Relaxed communicators are anxiety-free and remain calm and at ease when engaged in interactions with others.
4. Contentious individuals will argue, and may get somewhat hostile, quarrelsome, or belligerent.
5. Attentive communicators are alert and are good listeners who are concerned with understanding others.
6. Precise communicators try to be strictly accurate, using well-defined arguments and specific proof or evidence to clarify their positions.
7. Animated communicators use eye contact, facial expressions, gestures, body movement, and posture to exaggerate content.
8. Dramatic communicators use stylistic devices (exaggerations, voice, rhythm, stories) to underscore content.
9. Open communicators are extroverted, unreserved, and straightforward; they do not have problems directly communicating their thoughts or emotions.
10. Dominant communicators “take charge” of the situation by talking louder, longer, and more frequently than others.

We look at these scores in “clusters.” Take your top three scores and these may be the most

descriptive of your general style of communication.

Researchers have found that:

□ Employees prefer their superiors to use the relaxed, friendly, and attentive attributes. □ Charismatic leaders tend to use the attentive, relaxed, friendly and dominant attributes. □ Strong public speakers are dominant, animated, open, friendly, dramatic, and attentive.

Proxemics Activity

Pair up with another person into two groups, one half of which stands against a wall on one side of the room facing outward toward their partners (Ones). The other side faces them

approximately five (5) feet apart (Twos - aggressors).

Part 1:

 Twos line up in as straight a line as possible  Twos begin walking slowly toward their Ones partners  Ones raise their hands when their partners when they have gotten “close enough”  Twos are to stop as soon as their Ones partners raise their hands to signal “Stop!”  Observe the line made by the approaching Twos

Part 2:

 Twos now change places with Ones and place their backs against the wall.  Ones now begin slowly walking toward their Twos partners  Twos now raise their hands when their partners have gotten “close enough”  Observe that the distances may not be the same as they were when the Twos were the aggressors

Part 3:

 Ones turn their bodies at a 45-degree angle toward their partners  Keeping eye contact with their partners, Ones continue to approach their partners  Twos raise their hands when their partners have gotten “close enough”  Observe the distances and whether or not the Twos permitted their partners to come any closer

Proxemics is a term for the distance one person likes to maintain between him and another.

When you find yourself in front of someone, you might approach him to a distance that you find to be comfortable. This might result in him feeling threatened. Although the distance is OK for you, it’s not OK for him.

When you “blade” your partner, it offers you the ability to get closer to him without causing him to feel threatened.

But how close do you really need to get?

Worksheet: Understanding Different Cultural Interpretations of Common Gestures

It is important for us to understand how the gestures we use unconsciously may be

misunderstood. This activity allows us to look a little closer at how body language might be interpreted by coworkers and clients from other cultures.

Write down what you think each gesture means. Also indicate if you think the gesture is considered rude in the United States. Then discuss how body language could influence

communication between cultures.

Gesture Meaning

Beckon with the index finger.

Point at something in the room using the index finger.

Make a ‘V’ sign.

Smile.

Sit with the sole of foot or shoe showing.

Form a circle with fingers to indicate ‘OK.’

Pat a child or adult on the head.

Pass an item to someone with one hand.

Wave hand with palm facing outward to greet someone.

Nod head up and down to say ‘yes.’

Nonverbal Immediacy Scale-Self Report (NIS-S )

This is the most up-to-date measure of nonverbal immediacy as a self-report. Alpha reliability estimates around .90 should be expected. This measure has more face validity than previous instruments because it has more and more diverse items. Its predictive validity also is excellent.

When using this instrument it is important to recognize that the difference in these self- reports between females and males is statistically significant and socially significant (that is, substantial variance in the scores on this instrument can be attributed to biological sex). Whether these differences are "real" (that is, females may actually be more nonverbally immediate than males) or a function of social desirability (that is, females think they should be more immediate than males think they should be) or a function of actual behavior has not yet been determined (as of September, 2003).

DIRECTIONS: The following statements describe the ways some people behave while talking with or to others. Please indicate in the space at the left of each item the degree to which you believe the statement applies TO YOU. Please use the following 5-point scale: 1 = Never; 2 = Rarely; 3 = Occasionally; 4 = Often; 5 = Very Often

_____ 1. I use my hands and arms to gesture while talking to people.

_____ 2. I touch others on the shoulder or arm while talking to them.

_____ 3. I use a monotone or dull voice while talking to people.

_____ 4. I look over or away from others while talking to them.

_____ 5. I move away from others when they touch me while we are talking.

_____ 6. I have a relaxed body position when I talk to people.

_____ 7. I frown while talking to people.

_____ 8. I avoid eye contact while talking to people.

_____ 9. I have a tense body position while talking to people.

_____10. I sit close or stand close to people while talking with them.

_____11. My voice is monotonous or dull when I talk to people.

_____12. I use a variety of vocal expressions when I talk to people.

_____13. I gesture when I talk to people.

_____14. I am animated when I talk to people.

_____15. I have a bland facial expression when I talk to people.

_____16. I move closer to people when I talk to them.

_____17. I look directly at people while talking to them.

_____18. I am stiff when I talk to people.

_____19. I have a lot of vocal variety when I talk to people.

_____20. I avoid gesturing while I am talking to people.

_____21. I lean toward people when I talk to them.

_____22. I maintain eye contact with people when I talk to them.

_____23. I try not to sit or stand close to people when I talk with them.

_____24. I lean away from people when I talk to them.

_____25. I smile when I talk to people.

_____26. I avoid touching people when I talk to them.

Scoring:

Step 1. Add the scores from the following items: 1, 2, 6, 10, 12, 13, 14, 16, 17, 19, 21, 22, and

Step 2. Add the scores from the following items: 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9, 11, 15, 18, 20, 23, 24, and 26.

Total Score = 78 plus Step 1 minus Step 2.

Norms:

Females Mean = 102.0 S.D. = 10.9 High = >112 Low = <

Males Mean = 93.8 S.D. = 10.8 High = >104 Low <

Source: Richmond, V. P., McCroskey, J. C., & Johnson, A. D. (2003). Development of the Nonverbal Immediacy Scale (NIS): Measures of self- and other-perceived nonverbal immediacy. Communication Quarterly, 51, 502-515.

Positive Body Language

 When greeting someone for the first time, make sure you have a

smile on your face – even if it’s a forced smile.

 Keep the physical distance between you and the person you are

wanting to converse with approximately an arm’s length away.

 Don’t invade someone else’s space – keep the arm’s length rule at

play.

 Don’t fiddle with objects or be distracted while someone is talking with

you.

 Don’t hog the conversation – take turns talking and listening.

 Show interest by keeping good eye contact without staring.

 If someone likes you, (s)he may occasionally touch your arm or

shoulder, therefore if you like someone, you can occasionally do the

same.

 Don’t get too friendly too fast – too much information too early will

turn most people away. Don’t tell your life story so quickly.

 While listening to someone, be very conscious of your own facial

expressions – allow your face to show interest by mirroring the other

person’s facial expressions.

 Don’t steal another person’s story. If someone starts sharing his/her

vacation story, allow him/her to finish and show interest the whole

time. Be patient. Then and only then can you share a similar

experience or story if appropriate.