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THE ADVENTURES OF
BRER RABBIT
OPENING NUMBER - HOW DO YOU DO
RUBY, ROSIE, HANNAH, REESE, SHAYNA
How do you do? BRER TURTLE & BRER BEAVER Fine! MS. RACCOON, SISTER SQUIRREL, SISTER SKUNK, SISTER RABBIT A friendly greetin'. BRER TURTLE & BRER BEAVER How do you do? MS. RACCOON, SISTER SQUIRREL, SISTER SKUNK, SISTER RABBIT Say it when you're meetin'. QUEEN DEER, SPARROW, LADY DOE How do you do? MS. RACCOON, SISTER SQUIRREL, SISTER SKUNK, SISTER RABBIT With everyone repeatin': ALL Pretty good, sure as you're born. What goes up is sure to come down, Penny lost is a penny found, I'll "howdy" you, you'll "howdy" back, This for that an' tit for a tat.
BRER FOX & BRER WEASEL
How do you do? BRER BEAR & BRER WOLF Fine, how are you? BRER FOX & BRER WEASEL How you come on? BRER BEAR & BRER WOLF Pretty good, sure as you're born. MS. RACCOON, SISTER SQUIRREL, SISTER SKUNK, SISTER RABBIT Stop jumpinʼ, kids. You'll run out of breath. Why don't you sit down and calm yourselves? RUBY, ROSIE, HANNAH, REESE, SHAYNA Well the grasshopper jump, and so do the flea. I do what I like, and that suits me! BRER TURTLE & BRER BEAVER How do you do? MS. RACCOON, SISTER SQUIRREL, SISTER SKUNK, SISTER RABBIT Fine. How are you? BRER TURTLE & BRER BEAVER How you come on? MS. RACCOON, SISTER SQUIRREL, SISTER SKUNK, SISTER RABBIT Pretty good, sure as youʼre born. BRER RABBIT The weather's good. The fishinʼs fine. SISTER RABBIT (to Brer Rabbit) Now what do you do with all your time? BRER RABBIT Oh, I zigs and I zags, I to's and I fro's. That's what you're askin' and that's what you knows. RUBY, ROSIE, HANNAH, REESE, SHAYNA How do you do?
BRER TURTLE
How-do, young lady. SALLY My imaginationʼs runninʼ away from me… I swear that turtle just talked. BRER BEAVER Well, of course he did. SALLY You talk too! Iʼve never met animals that talk. BRER TURTLE Have you ever tried having a conversation with one? SALLY No, sir. BRER TURTLE Well, there you are. BRER BEAVER You from that new house built over yonder? SALLY Yes, sir. My nameʼs Sally Meadows. I live there with my Pappy. (pause) The fish biting? BRER BEAVER (giggling) Well, Brer Turtle? Are the fish bitinʼ? BRER TURTLE No… but theyʼre hollerinʼ pretty good. SALLY Perhaps you can tell me… are there any other children in these parts? BRER BEAVER Sure is… Here come some now. [ Enter RUBY RABBIT, ROSIE RABBIT, HANNAH HEDGEHOG, REESE RACCOON, and SHAYNA SKUNK, all laughing. They are shortly followed by SISTER RABBIT, SISTER SKUNK, MS. RACCOON, and SISTER SQUIRREL. ]
SISTER SKUNK
Are you girls playing nice? GIRLS ( sweetly ) Yes, mʼam. MS. RACCOON Watch out for them long-tooths, like Brer Fox and Brer Weasel. SHAYNA We will. SALLY ( to Brer Turtle and Brer Beaver ) Excuse me, sir, but them childrenʼs animals too. BRER BEAVER And…? BRER TURTLE My young, Ms. Meadows, if youʼre to fit in here, youʼd best open your eyes and open your heart. Just look at them youngʼuns playinʼ. RUBY & ROSIE Now Old Dan Tucker was a fine old man Washed his face in a fryin' pan. SHAYNA, HANNAH, REESE Combed his hair with a wagon wheel And died with a toothache in his heel RUBY, ROSIE, SHAYNA, HANNAH, REESE Get out the way, Old Dan Tucker, You're too late to get your supper. Get out the way, Old Dan Tucker, You're too late to get your supper. SISTER RABBIT, SISTER SQUIRREL, SISTER SKUNK, MS. RACCOON Now Old Dan Tucker come to town Ridin' a billy goat, leadin' a hound. The hound dog barked, the billy goat jumped, And landed Old Tucker on a stump. CAST Get out the way, Old Dan Tucker, You're too late to get your supper. Get out the way, Old Dan Tucker,
SISTER SQUIRREL
Sheʼs harmless, Iʼm sure. SISTER RABBIT Iʼd prefer they stay here. RUBY But Mom— SISTER RABBIT But what? RUBY Nothing. ROSIE Hannah, you go on and say ʻhiʼ. HANNAH Why me? ROSIE ʻCause youʼre the only one with no momma to tell you ʻnoʼ. [ Hannah crosses to Sally. ] HANNAH How do you do? SALLY Fine. How are you? HANNAH Pretty good. …Would you like to play with me and my friends? [ Hannah pauses, seeing Sister Rabbitʼs scowl. Brer Beaver, seeming to mind his own business, whispers something in Sallyʼs ear. ] SALLY If itʼs okay with their mommas, lilʼ Hedgehog. SISTER SQUIRREL What do you say, ladies? There couldnʼt be a sweeter little belle in all the region. [ Moms nod. Children rush off together. ] [ Exit all, happily, except Grammy Mud Patter. Enter BRER FOX, BRER WOLF, and BRER WEASEL. ]
BRER FOX
There just ainʼt no justice. BRER WEASEL You said it, Brer Fox. BRER WOLF We got this whole forest full of juicy animals… BRER FOX And we canʼt hardly catch one for our dinner. BRER WEASEL Itʼs all due to that interfering Brer Rabbit. BRER WOLF The funniest part is: he donʼt particularly care ʻbout them other animals. BRER WEASEL Thatʼs what you say? Then whyʼs he always unraveling our plans? BRER WOLF ʻCause he donʼt particularly care ʻbout us twice as much. BRER FOX Our lives would sure be easier if these animals caught themselves. GRAMMY MUD PATTER Your lives would be easier if you just left them alone. Now get off my land before I snap your tails from your backsides. BRER WEASEL Olʼ Grammy Mud Patter, if you think weʼre scared of you, then— PAPPY MUD PATTER Go!!! [ Brer Fox, Brer Wolf, and Brer Weasel scatter. LADY DOE enters majestically attended by SIR SPARROW and BRER BEAR.] SPARROW The countryside is producing an impressive crop this year, Lady Doe. All the animals are working hard. LADY DOE All except for Brer Fox, Brer Wolf, and Brer Weasel, Iʼm sure.
BRER BEAR
Why, thank you, Grammy. Thank you very much. SPARROW Brer Bear, whatʼs say you and I do a patrol? You head that way. ACT I, SCENE 2 [BRER BEAVER and BRER TURTLE are inspecting a well. SISTER SQUIRREL is bringing them lunch. RUBY, ROSIE, SALLY, HANNAH, PATTY, REESE, and SHAYNA enter.] REESE How-do, Brer Beaver, Brer Turtle. SHAYNA Whatchya all doinʼ? BRER TURTLE Just finishinʼ up this here well. HANNAH A well? Whatʼs it for? SALLY A well gathers water from beneath the ground. SISTER SQUIRREL You use it for drinking, dear. BRER BEAVER And we had to dig mighty deep to reach that water. ROSIE Why donʼt you just use the stream? RUBY Why Patty, donʼt you know nothinʼ? Water from underground is cleaner. ROSIE Donʼt seem like it would be. RUBY Well, seeminʼ and isʼn are two different things, ainʼt they, Sister Squirrel?
SISTER SQUIRREL
I suspect that ʻseemingʼ and ʻbeingʼ are two different things, Ruby Rabbit. SHAYNA Howʼs it work? BRER TURTLE This rope hereʼs got a bucket at each end. BRER BEAVER Oneʼs at the bottom, full of water, and, while you pull it up, the other goes down to fill itself with water. HANNAH Mighty clever. BRER TURTLE Yes, but donʼt you all go playinʼ with it. The bottom of a wellʼs no good for young ʻuns. SISTER SQUIRREL You heard him, girls. Go off and play somewhere else now. [Exit Brer Beaver, Brer Turtle, and Sister Squirrel. Ruby and Rosie lean over the well.] ROSIE It sure is a long way down. REESE You two, they told us not to go playinʼ with it. SALLY Cʼmon. You both are makinʼ me a jumble of nerves. HANNAH My quills are shakinʼ terrible just watchinʼ ya. RUBY Tainʼt nothinʼ to be scared of. We got better balance than— [ They fall in. Hannah, Sally, Reese, and Shayna rush to the well. ] HANNAH, SALLY REESE, & SHAYNA Ruby! Rosie! RUBY & ROSIE Help!
BRER WOLF
Who says you wonʼt do the same? BRER FOX & BRER WEASEL We do! [Exit Brer Wolf, angrily.] BRER FOX Girls, we got rid of that scoundrel, Brer Wolf. Now let us pull you up. RUBY We told you, we donʼt want to leave. [ Enter BRER RABBIT. ] BRER RABBIT Whatchya got down there, Brer Fox? BRER WEASEL Brer Rabbit! BRER FOX Thank goodness youʼre here. Your nieces are trapped in the well. Help us pull them up. BRER RABBIT (looking in) Now, why would I do that? How you get on, girls? RUBY & ROSIE Pretty good… sure as youʼre born. BRER RABBIT There. You see? ( walking away ) You have yourself a nice day, Brer Fox. Say ʻhelloʼ to Brer Wolf for me. BRER WEASEL What are you up to, Brer Rabbit? Your nieces are stuck in this well! BRER RABBIT They ainʼt stuck, Brer Weasel. Theyʼre fishinʼ. BRER WEASEL Fishinʼ?!
RUBY & ROSIE
Fishin! BRER FOX Thereʼs fish down there? BRER RABBIT More than you can shake a stick at. Last time I was down there I caught twenty- three big ones. BRER WEASEL Twenty-three? BRER FOX How do you get down there? BRER RABBIT Just jump in that bucket, of course. [Brer Fox and Brer Weasel consider, then grab bucket and jump down. The rope runs and Ruby and Rosie come popping out. Brer Rabbit helps them out.] BRER FOX Brer Rabbit! There ainʼt no fish down here! BRER RABBIT Sure is! I see two wide-mouthed suckers right there! Ha-ha! [They turn, laughing, as BRER WOLF enters.] BRER WOLF Everythingʼs set, Brer Fox! Have you got— [ Brer Wolf sees the rabbits who freeze, then run. He chases them. ] ACT I, SCENE 3 [ BRER RABBIT, RUBY, and ROSIE rush up to a hollow tree trunk and dive inside. They are quickly followed by BRER WOLF. ] BRER WOLF You slipped up this time, Brer Rabbit! Thereʼs no way out, except the way you went in! Iʼll wait you out if it takes seven seasons. [ Enter Brer Bear. ]
ROSIE
Get ready! [ Brer Bear rushes around to the other side of the tree. While he waits, Brer Rabbit, Rosie, and Ruby jump out of the hole and race away. ] BRER BEAR Brer Rabbit? You got that honey yet? Brer Rabbit? (looks in the hole) …Uh-oh. Brer Rabbit! [ Enter Brer Wolf as Brer Bear begins to sob. ] BRER WOLF Cheer up, Brer Bear. Heʼll be free soon. BRER BEAR No, no, no… The tree… the tree… ate Brer Rabbit! [ Brer Wolf thrusts his head in the hole. ] BRER WOLF What…? How…? [ Sobbing, Brer Bear trudges off, accidentally knocking Brer Wolf into the hole. The ax falls out of his hand and remains outside. ] BRER WOLF Brer Bear? Iʼm stuck! Brer Bear!!! ACT I, SCENE 4 [ The well. ] BRER FOX Curse that Brer Rabbit! How are we supposed to get out of here? [ Enter SISTER RABBIT, SISTER SKUNK, SISTER SQUIRREL, and MS. RACCOON along with REESE, SALLY, SHAYNA, and HANNAH. ] SHAYNA Theyʼre here! Here! In Brer Beaverʼs well! SISTER RABBIT Ruby?! Rosie?! Girls, can you hear me?
SALLY
Iʼll get Lady Doe! [ Exit Sally. ] BRER WEASEL ( trying to sound like one of the rabbits ) Mama? SISTER RABBIT …Rosie? HANNAH Her voice sounds awful scratchy. SISTER SQUIRREL Must be the terrible cold down there. BRER WEASEL Yes. My throat hurts. SISTER RABBIT Is your sister okay? BRER FOX (pause, also adopting high, silly voice) Iʼm fine… but I need your help. So does Nosey. MS. RACCOON Rosie. BRER FOX Right… Rosie. MS. RACCOON Dear me, theyʼre delirious. SISTER SKUNK Weʼll get you out. Ladies, grab the bucket with me. Pull! REESE Theyʼve gotten awful heavy! BRER WEASEL Itʼs all the water in our fur! [ Enter BRER BEAVER and BRER TURTLE. ]
SISTER SQUIRREL
Tell her, Grammy. Tell her right. GRAMMY MUD PATTER When John Henry was a little baby Sittin' on his daddy's knee He picked up a hammer and a little piece of steel And cried, "Hammer's gonna be the life for me, Lord, Lord Hammer's gonna be the life for me" CAST Now the captain he said to John Henry "I'm gonna bring that steam drill around I'm gonna bring that steam drill out on these tracks I'm gonna knock that steel on down, God, God I'm gonna knock that steel on down. John Henry told his captain "Lord a man ain't nothin' but a man But before I let that steam drill beat me down I'm gonna die with a hammer in my hand, Lord, Lord I'll die with a hammer in my hand" John Henry driving on the right side That steam drill driving on the left Says, "Fore I let your steam drill beat me down I'm gonna hammer myself to death, Lord, Lord, I'll hammer my fool self to death" Well captain said to John Henry "What is that storm I hear?" John Henry said, "That ain't no storm captain That's just my hammer in the air, Lord, Lord That's just my hammer in the air" Well every, every Monday morning When a blue bird, he began to sing You could hear John Henry from a mile or more You could hear John Henry's hammer ring, Lord, Lord You can hear John Henry's hammer ring
I say, You can John Henry's hammer ring, Lord, Lord You can John Henry's hammer ring. BRER FOX That was a lovely song. Now… does someone want to get me out of here?! [ They pull together. As theyʼre pulling, in comes Brer Rabbit, Rosie, and Ruby. ] ROSIE Mama, what are yʼall up to? SISTER RABBIT Rosie?! Ruby?! If youʼre there, then whoʼs down the well? [ Brer Fox and Brer Weasel emerge. All scream and scatter. Enter BRER BEAR, sobbing. ] BRER BEAR Poor old, Brer Rabbit, swallowed by a tree. WHY? [ On ʻwhyʼ he unknowingly knocks Brer Fox and Brer Weasel back into the well. ] ACT I, SCENE 5 [ Woods. Enter Brer Weasel. ] BRER WEASEL Brer Rabbit… Brer Bear… got me stuck in that well for two nights… Whereʼs the justice?! (pause) Why, Brer Weasel, you just had an idea, and youʼre a fool not to have thought of it sooner. Iʼll just play dead right on this trail. When the animals come close to check on me, Iʼll grab one and have my dinner. [ Falls dead. Enter MS. RACCOON, SISTER SKUNK, and SISTER SQUIRREL. ] MS. RACCOON I donʼt expect Sister Rabbit will be letting her girls out anytime soon. SISTER SKUNK Not after that fiasco at the well. MS. RACCOON Iʼve never seen her fuming so – ʻspecially at her brother.
